listen carefully~

dear blog..
plz listen here carefully
this time aku betol..betol..betol..upset!!!

y?
mlm td aku pergi lepak kt rafi..
correction, early in the morning..
dlm kul 3 lebih cmtuh
then tibe2 dpt call
c gilew la sape lagi
dia nk jumpe

pagi td balik uma kul 6 lebih
so kirenye kul 7 pagi aku baru dpt lelap

tup..tup..
kul 2 ptg baru aku terjaga..
well ape sebenarnye yang wat aku marah sgt ni?

tadi aku rase bosan so aku ajak la dia kua
mkn angin
sbb aku rase x sedap aty
then tibe2 he asked me to not try to argue with him..
n i was like what?!
m so damn pissed off!
what the hell that he thinkin huh?
klu dia ngat aku ajak dia jumpe sbb nk gado, baik kt fb pon boley gado la!

last2 x jadi kuar sbb gado gak at last dlm fon
m totally do not understand him sometimes
but wut he actually want? think?
ergh! he's so confiusing!!

sometimes i was like m givin up
sometimes i felt like it shud be done by now..
cuz i dun wanna do this anymore
cuz i dun wanna be the reason y on this..
its torcherin me inside
i cudnt bear myself to look him hurtfull, heartless, losin himself n much more
what should i do then?
let it be? just go on with the flow? or i need to do something like..
erm...let it go?

m tired already
with all he arguements, misunderstandings, emosion..

y dun he just move on without me?
cuz i think he'll juz gonna be fine out there!
if he's not goin to do something 4 me..
so i dunno what are the reasons i shud use to stay..
does he really needs me more than everything?
i dun wanna ends this straight away but....
m still confius..
still got some percent of doubt
yeah i do trust him
but in some way, he broke it..

two is better than one isnt?
yeay i neva doubt it
but how it cud be better if the two is potentially can bring a very big disaster?!
such a question right...
i dun have the answer
cuz i still keep askin myself
what m i doing here with him?
to care or to be cared?
to love or to be loved?
to fight this feelings or just being here as a true friend without asking no repayment?
to be honest..
and to be true..
i dunno.......